Celebrate Christmas the right way: by drinking pints and pints of beer!
Many years ago, Santa was too drunk to deliver presents to all the wee ones on Christmas morning. Why is this, you ask? But before you ask that, you might want to think about his living conditions. He's stuck, on a pole, somewhere in the north, with the same woman for 364 days each year and a bunch of wee elves that do nothing but bitch and complain about the work load.
One day Santa had an epiphany: he needed to drink beer. Lots of beer. So, he drank. Of course no one believed him when he told them his name. They thought he was nuts, so they got him drunk, stripped him naked and threw him in to an alley.
He woke up with a bitch of a hangover and feared going home. But he did, and he was never let out again. So go on the bar crawl, and commemorate the day Santa tasted freedom.
